Monthly Archives: February 2015

Where have I been??

Where have I been??

You haven’t been blogging. Where have you been?

Here there and everywhere. 

I’m not sure if I lost interest in writing and blogging or if I gained interest in living my life to the fullest, uninterrupted by what is “happening” around me.

I think it’s a combination of both to be honest. 

I’ve had good intentions to blog, but my intentions have clearly failed me. So where do I go from here?

I began this blog as a cathartic way to share my journey and express externally what I have repressed internally. 

From being closeted and ashamed to living an authentic, confident life of being gay in a straight world, I have really made some personal progress over the past three years. 

I will continue this blog in that manner.  I have surely not arrived at any particular junction. This is a life long journey. I will be coming into my own and making necessary life adjustments utill I make my transition to my next life with God. 

I have surely intentionally altered much of my religious, political, social and personal belief structure. For those who follow my posts on FaceBook, you have likely noticed. Actually some of you have blocked, unfriended and/or unflowed me on Facebook for my newfound emerging belief structure.  I am so NOT offended. You have your journey and I have mine. I no longer apologize for or alter my belief structure for others who disagree with or disrespect me for being authentic. I have learned that I cannot be anyone other than Chet. I stink at being someone else. 

Some have inquired as to why my posts on social media are so “gay” in nature. With all due respect, I could question as to why your posts are so “straight” in nature. Let me answer that though. 

Because I’m gay!! Because I’m proud that God gave me the gift of being gay. I’m no longer ashamed. You can never truly understand gay pride until you understand gay shame. Shift your world view for a few minutes and try to understand what living in a straight world is like for LGBT people. 

Part of my journey has been bringing restitution to the LGBT community that I was so cruel to in my years of ignorance and shame.  I said and did hurtful things. For that I am ashamed. I will therefore speak up on behalf of my LGBT community. It is who I am. 

It has been said that “Gay” is what I do, not who I am. Well I feel indifferent about that statement. “Gay” is who I am and love is what I do. 

For the past three years, I have been learning about gay culture and trying to find my place in that culture. I quickly learned that I didn’t quite fit into the main stream of the culture. 

Being married to my former wife for nearly 15 years and having two elementary aged children, has put me in a unique sub-culture of the ever-changing and convoluted gay culture. 

Feeling like I was alone in this journey, I took to social media to locate a gay dads group here in Phoenix, Arizona. Not finding what I was in need of, I started my own social group which is currently 80 men. All of us are formerly married to women and/or have children.  It’s a very unique group of men. We are a healthy subculture of the LGBT community. 

The 80 of us currently who are in the social group are from almost every state in the US and even a foreign country. I facilitate the group. If you know of a gay man who is or came out of a heterosexual marriage that can benefit from our social group, please have them to contact me directly.  We have men of all ages and all at a unique place in our journey. This is not a journey to be traveled alone. 

As I have made so much progress on living authentic, I have entered into a domestic partnership. A man that at times, I feel like I don’t deserve. He is a devout Christian and lives his life in accordance with the Ten Commandments as well as the golden rule. 

We have spent time talking about our future and what a life together as a married couple will look like. Our future is bright. 

Until next time…


Posted by on February 24, 2015 in Journey to Authenticity