As part of the dissolution of my marriage to my wife, the state of Arizona requires each person to take a parenting information class when children are involved in any way. Well, I completed my requirement this past week. The class left me informed and sad. Part of the class was a video entitled “let the children speak.”. That was the sad part.
It was clips of children telling how they felt about their parents divorce. It was though watch. The most noted were the children who felt that their parents fought in front of them and the children who did not want one parent to leave the home. One child even suggested that the parents move into separate parts of the house just to keep the family together. It was heartbreaking.
This did however confirm my decision to stay-put in our family home… Just like my parents did and just like my former wife’s parents. I am thankful for the constant place that I called home, where I had two parents that loved each other and protected me. I am thankful that now and even prior to the dissolution of our marriage, that my children never saw their parents fight without also seeing an apology to make it right. I am happy to have my former spouse that is also my best friend.
So this week on September 4th, my parents will celebrate their 47th or 48th wedding anniversary. I have lost count. I know it’s a lot! While our relationship may not be what it could be, or what it once was, I have made a conscious choice to highlight the positive aspects. I don’t care how bad a situation or event is, if we look with proper perspective, we will find the good and the right. I personally enjoy catching people doing something RIGHT instead of looking for or catching someone doing something wrong.
My parents did something right. They stayed together even when times and situations were tough. While I may no longer be married to my former spouse, I have chosen to “stay together” with her and parent our children together. There is just something to be said about putting personal “feelings” aside and doing what it RIGHT for the betterment of a child who has no choice in the matter.
Happy Anniversary to Marie Antoinette Perez Derouen and Charles Lloyd Derouen, Sr. I honor you.
Below is a photo of the church that they were married in. Jeanerette, Louisiana. I remember jumping down those stairs when we would attend church there.