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Uphill Both Ways in the Snow, Sleet & Rain

10 Aug
Uphill Both Ways in the Snow, Sleet & Rain

I never like to write/blog (or do anything for that matter) when I am feeling defeated, sad and beaten down.  I feel like I’m traveling somewhere uphill both ways in the snow, sleet and rain without a coat or shoes.  Actually I feel quite naked and exposed. I like to put on my happy face and just be the best me that I can me.

Well today i’m making an exception. I am writing this one day before my 43rd birthday and one day after someone took a pot-shot at me and my former wife on their Facebook post.  It would have been easier if the person was someone that I didn’t know.  Reality is, it is one that I know quite well and who feels that their life is so squeaky clean that they can make false statements regarding others in a public forum.  The information shared was false and the poster did not or could not verify any of the information.  It was second and third hand information that shamed my morality, Christianity and honesty. I was told that I needed to check into a mental hospital as well. When you post truth, you usually post the valid source of that truth.

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It appears that they were upset about my honesty and sincerity on this blog.  I have never taken “shots” at any individual on my blog.  The opposite is true.  I do not allow names to be used except my own and my reference to people is usually gender neutral when possible.  I try to use words like “us” and “we” when referring to others instead of saying “you.”  This person is also unaware that I can see just how many times that they visit and view my blog.  It is often.  If you don’t like what you are reading, then why continue to do so.  I’ll tell you why, because they are curious about what is going on in my world. They wish to find my faults and defeats because it makes them feel like they are better than me and therefore justifies their self-anger, self-shame and self-scorn.  Anyone who takes joy in shaming others are usually shameful people.  People hurt others where they themselves are hurt.  I know, I used to do this too.

The backlash from the post has caused further hurt, pain and distance for me.  It was like a “bat to the face.”  The proverbial kick in the nuts.  I had to take a dramatic action of blocking phone numbers from my phone and people on my Facebook friends list.  Others who were included in the post did not take time to realize that no matter how burned or flat a pancake is…there is always a second side with the actual truth being somewhere in the middle. Others shamefully posted in support or “liked” the post.  In doing so, they condoned the behavior of shaming people publicly.  Others however stood publicly in protest.  Your kindness is appreciated immensely.  One supportive person actually showed up at my door to give support.  You know who you are.  That was very brave and selfless of you.  I respect the hell out of you.

I will not be silenced or shut up.  This blog is my personal journey and my outlet.  If you don’t like it, you have a choice not to read it.  Several have commented that I need to stop airing my “dirty laundry.”  Really? Dirty Laundry?  The very reason I am in this place today is because I did what others expected of me.  I remained silent about who I was.  I remained silent about my pain and shame.  I kept my dirty laundry inside and it began to stink, sour and get moldy.  The stink was unbearable and the mold was making me ill. So I threw it out into the trash.  I have no dirty laundry any longer.  It’s fresh and clean in my house. Not to mention, my blog is not quite a month old, and I have had over FIVE THOUSAND views.  Yeah me!

This blog serves multiple purposes.  The first is to give me an outlet of writing and sanity.  The second was discovered after my first or second post.  To help others.  I have had many people ask me to NEVER stop writing as I have helped either them individually or someone that they love to understand that they are not alone in their situation.  I will be sharing their stories in future blogs.  This is my service back to a community of people who have lived in shame and hurt for much too long.

I don’t give two cents about what your position on homosexuality is.  Fact remains that it exists today in Churches and Families across the world.  I will not be silenced or shamed into being quiet.  For every 1 person that has been unkind, 10 people have been kind, even when they didn’t agree.

I’m not sure how to end this post.  I’m adjusting to life without people who I have grown up with and loved.  I’m kinda scared, still hurt and angry.  I don’t understand bitter, hateful people who take pleasure in harming others to make themselves feel better.  I will be taking time away from those who are ashamed, embarrassed and not understanding or accepting of me.  I have not only un-friended but blocked them on FB and blocked phone numbers from my phones.  I will limit my communication and contact with them until I am ready.  This is MY journey and MY life.  I will allow only supportive and kind people to communicate with me.  I can’t control others, but I can control how I let them invade and participate in my life.

I gotta run.  I have a birthday to get happy for.

-chet

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13 Comments

Posted by on August 10, 2012 in Journey to Authenticity

 

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13 responses to “Uphill Both Ways in the Snow, Sleet & Rain

  1. Robin Ross

    August 10, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    You rock, Chet! I’m sorry you got a sucker-punch to the gut. It really hurts when someone is not the person you thought they were. You have been incredibly brave and truthful in your journey, and some people won’t be able to tolerate it. Maybe they are jealous that you have been courageous enough to live your truth when they cannot. Keep it up and have a brilliantly blinding, joyous birthday!

     
  2. Megan

    August 10, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    Continue to be strong, your honestly and raw emotion are refreshing and real and it is sad that there are people out there who lack basic human compassion. I am sending a virtual hug your way….have a great birthday!

     
  3. Jeff

    August 10, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    It’s funny how some people surprise you. People you thought would be right along with you are no where to be found, and people you are sure you’d never speak to are the ones waving the flag for you. The only control that we have is how we let both groups effect us. You just get to a point where you have to decide which group you let into your life. Not a hard choice if you ask me!

     
  4. Krissy

    August 10, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    Chet and Christa, I am sorry you continue to go through hardships with this whole process, but I guess it’s part of the journey. I am always thinking of you both, much love to you! Krissy

     
  5. Tom

    August 10, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    Happy Birthday Chet!

     
  6. Judi Staggers

    August 10, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    I’m sooo sad people contine to hurt you 😦 Praying for you.. Xoxo

     
  7. Alicia

    August 10, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    I don’t know you but I love your blog! I love seeing how strong you are amidst the hatred out there! You Rock!! Keep your head up and heart open. “Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.” quote by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

    Happy Birthday!

     
  8. Balls Deep

    August 10, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    you are a f******g retard.

     
  9. laurenchammond

    August 11, 2012 at 5:16 AM

    The fact that people are getting upset about this means you are making people think. And although it hurts the way people are treating you. They are spending time talking and thinking about you. You are just the beginning of this eye-opening experience for them. Be proud of yourself for getting people to think Chet! This is proof you are making a positive difference in the world.

     
  10. tammybangs

    August 11, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    It makes me so mad that people are so blind, ignorant and unfeeling!!! What would Jesus do? He sure as heck wouldn’t do that. Shame on those people! You know Chet, people with planks in their eyes like to point out the slivers in other peoples eyes. A la Jimmy Swaggert. I love you guys! Your truth is an inspiration to everyone who reads it with an honest and open heart.

     
  11. DModine

    August 11, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Those who are most vocal against homosexuals may feel that way because they fear their true selves.

     
  12. Why Am I Gay?

    August 17, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    You are welcomed to your opinion. What you don’t know is that while you attempted to send this message anonymously, I researched your I.P. address and located your physical street address on Des Moines in Mesa, AZ Near Greenfield and Adobe. You fit the perfect profile of bullying others because you yourself were bullied because you were not accepted for who you are. There are counselors and support groups that can help you if you will only stop pretending you are someone that you are not and reach out. Cheers JPP

     
  13. Stanna Michelle

    August 20, 2012 at 11:22 PM

    You’re a courageous, Christian man, Chet.

    Don’t let the modern-day pharasees “take your crown”.

    Your authenticity and unwaivering pursuit of God does far more to further the “Kingdom of God” and the “good news of the Gospel” than anything offered by hateful hypocrites. The most they can offer the world is a false notion that it’s better to hide our humanness than it is to be genuine and dependent upon God’s grace.

    If God needs or wants you to change in any way, He’ll be the first to let you know! Like He told the anguished and conflicted Apostle Paul, however, He may simply tell you to rest knowing that His grace is sufficient for you.

    In the interim, keep evolving into the liberated man whom God created you to be while simultaneously serving as the “light” (example of hope) for a hurting world that’s lost, in large part, due to false and hopeless teachings offered by pharasaic proponents of the Old Testament.

    Whenever you can, try to remind the modern-day pharasees that Jesus put the OT in its proper place when he disparaged its core as being merely the man-made “law of Moses” – never once calling it “the Word of God”.

    While Jesus said “I come not to destroy the law and the prophets but to fulfill them”, He was merely referring to the fact that there would be no need to literally eliminate the OT (nor any need to talk much about it anymore) once He could fulfill His goal of superseding the old law through His crucifixion and through His provision of the greatest commandment: simply to love God while loving people.

    Also, don’t be deterred by certain hopeless and legalistic writings authored by the Apostle Paul. He wrote his Biblical letters from the standpoint of being a newly-converted, yet often-conflicted, longtime former pharasee. Paul even admitted in his writings that he struggled to reconcile his old pharasaic inclinations with the otherwise simple task of just accepting God’s grace.

    All of the confusion, of course, began when Adam & Eve ate the fruit of the tree of “Knowledge of Good & Evil”. They gained “knowledge” in the form of an awareness of their flaws, but gained nothing with respect to intelligence or logical reasoning. Their first inclination was to look at themselves as being naked in a way that now warranted feelings of shame. Immediately, they thought “we’d better run and hide so God doesn’t see us like this”. Thus, they (and not God) created for themselves the first rule, law or “sin”: thou shalt not be naked in the presence of God. They reached this conclusion despite their long prior history of walking naked with God in the Garden everyday without it ever being a problem (either in God’s eyes or theirs). Have you ever wondered what might have happened that day if Adam had said to Eve, “Let’s act like nothing has changed and let’s walk naked with God like we always have”?! Unfortunately, their newly-gained “knowledge” caused them to assume false and judgmental things about what God is willing to accept.

    Since Adam & Eve, there have been many (like Moses) who have fallen into this same trap of falsely assuming what God likes and rejects (and in turn what constitutes “sin”). Moses wrote a bunch of it down and even said it was “God’s laws/statutes”. We know that to be inaccurate because Jesus later told the pharasees that the law on divorce (purported by Moses to have been given by God) instead had come merely from Moses (a man). It’s no wonder that the pharasees were enraged when Jesus referred to the core of what they considered their holy scriptures as being merely “the law of Moses”!

    This doesn’t mean that any of us should live recklessly. As we saw in the parable of “the Prodigal Son”, bad choices can lead to a lost inheritance and anguish (among other unpleasant outcomes). Despite the bad consequences that our misbehaviors may yield, however, our loving Father endlessly accepts us if we simply “come home to His love” as the prodigal son learned.

    So with all the foregoing having been said, I encourage you Chet (and everyone else who may read this) to enjoy being a “new creature in Christ” with all of the weight of sin having been lifted.

    Blessings,
    Stanna Michelle

     

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