Un-Anniversary Celebration

19 Jul


“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

On July 18, 1998 in Springdale, Arkansas at Springdale First Assembly of God, we were joined by our family and friends to witness our marriage vows of undying love and commitment to each other till only death would part us.  Our wedding was gorgeous and the day was perfect…even though our limo never showed up. The guy fell asleep and forgot to come to the church.  Oh well.  We made an alternate plan to leave the Church while our Pastor preached his message. Sorry Reverend.  I sang a beautiful song to her and I meant every word.  She was stunning.  The ceremony and reception went off without a hitch.  We had so much fun.  Driving off to our honeymoon we talked about how much fun it was that we actually wanted to have more weddings. Not for someone else… for us…  LOL.  We did all the decor and planning ourselves.  Her mom took charge of the reception and people thought that we spent thousands on the reception.  Reality is we (we meaning her parents and her) spent less than $10,000 on the entire event.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  And I still smile.

Rev. & Mrs. Chet Lloyd DeRouen

Did I lie?  Some would say yes and I’d have to accept their opinion.  But we all know the phrase about opinions right?  They are like belly buttons… everyone has one.  Gotcha… you though I was going to use some other part of our anatomy located just south of the belly button on the reverse side of the body.  I’m literally laughing out loud.  I love it when I make myself laugh like this.

On that day I made a promise and I have kept that promise. …and I continue to keep that promise today.  Refer back to my first blog for clarification.  I truly believed that I had conquered my “gayness.”  I further believed that marrying was the ‘right thing” to do.  If I were having sex with a woman, then surely I would be straight.  She would fix me.  We had both saved ourselves for marriage and I gladly had nothing to compare it to.  So there would be no confusion right?  My gravity toward males would end and dissipate.  It must.  I had prayed, fasted, read my Bible and God had finally answered my prayer “to take away the gay.”  I believed that being gay was the LARGEST sin possible other than murder and blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.  It was a disease like HIV, a sickness like cancer, a choice, like drugs, alcohol and stealing were a choice. So a Godly woman who was willing to marry me and make me straight was the answer.  Or was it?  I was scared, but being a christian man, I had very little choice.  Marry a woman or lose your career as a minister, character as a christian, and salvation as a born-again believer and follower of Christ.

I have loved, honored, cherished, respected and all those other things that the minister says really fast and our nerves are so anxious that we usually just make up something that sounds like something he asked you to repeat…then everyone gives a giggle or two.  In fact, I would argue… and trust me I love a good, healthy debate… that by admitting truth to her and releasing her from the union to pursue passion, I have done everything I have promised. I have put her needs above mine.  I have put her first.  That my friends is what marriage is all about.  Marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100.  I realize now that I never was able to “put in” my 100.  I didn’t have it.  I never have.  She simply doesn’t have the right letter (M or F) next to her name on her birth certificate.  Your opinion may differ, so please refer back to paragraph two about my theory on opinions.  This is my issue not hers and I cannot be healed or changed and I cannot in good human, christian manner ask her to forego sexual love and passion while I know it is something that I will NEVER be able to provide to her.  I will not further debate this issue.  Enough said.

So yesterday was a bittersweet sort of day.  More bitter than sweet.  I started the day strong not thinking I would get so emotional and become a sobbing, sloppy mess.  She left with the girls early to go to their summer movie event at the theater and I found myself in the house alone.  I unintentionally began looking at pictures that hang on the wall of such great times of fun and celebration.  It hit me like a cement truck and I bust into sobbing fit number two.  Wow two sobbing fits before noon… am I menopausal or something? I haven’t cried this much in over 10 years combined.  Why am I gay I cried out to God.  Why? Why? Why?  Can’t I take a pill or something and make this gay go away so that I could go back to normal.  Why am I gay?  I want a wife, 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat,  (scratch the cat…I can’t stand ’em), a white picket fence, a red door and a swimming pool in the back yard.  I just want to be normal.  I want to forgo the shame, embarrassment, depression, anger and all the other crazy emotions that come with being born gay.  That’s right, I said it.  Born gay.

I can hear it now… there is ABSOLUTELY NO scientific PROOF that people are born gay.  Really interesting… because there is ABSOLUTELY NO scientific PROOF that you are not either.  I would debate that there is no scientific proof that GOD truly exists.  In fair form,  there is ABSOLUTELY NO scientific PROOF that He does not either.  Its a double-edged sword.  I personally believe that He does exist and He cares too.  I love Him because He first loved me.

Ok back to yesterday…We talked earlier how we would handle our 14th and final wedding anniversary.  I originally was opposed to any celebration.  I just wanted to ignore it.  You see…in the past that is how I have dealt with issues that made me uncomfortable.  Just ignore them and stash them in the closet.  I was closeted before being closeted was cool.  Ok maybe not.  Anyway, we decided that we would celebrate.  That we would acknowledge our love and undying commitment to our future as best friends and parents of our two daughters.  So we drove into Phoenix and had a great meal and a great desert even though we are both choosing to eat healthier.  I have NO REGRETS. That key lime pie with home-made nut-crust was amazing…I even had a second mojito.  Both of our favorite beverage.  We had great conversation too.  We just love each others company and always have.  We have been married for 14 years and have worked in the same exact occupation for almost 10 of those years.  She is now my boss and I think that she likes it wayyyyyyy too much.  LOL.

After dinner we shopped a bit and decided to head home for a movie since the kids were with my parents seeing a movie themselves and spending the night with them.  We came home, each checked Facebook and read some emails and both sat in the family room to watch our movie.  I asked her to sit next to me so that I could give her a hug and thank her for such enduring love, forgiveness, commitment and just plain ol’ friendship.  Within moments of our embrace…  you guessed it.  Sobbing fit number three just spontaneously happened.  This was much worse than the two earlier in the day.  I was having trouble breathing.  We held each other as I profusely professed my love and apologies to her.  She rubbed my back and instructed me to stop beating myself up and to please take a breath… LOL.  I guess she didn’t want a dead husband on her hands…  that would make for an awkward ending don’t ya think.  But she would end up with a very nice death benefit from my life insurance policy.  So after getting out a good cry and reassuring each other that we were making the right decision for our family we went back to email and Facebook until we both went to bed…  Very unpredictable and unexpected ending right?

To me, you are the hand that I reach for, When I’ve lost my way. To me, you are the first star of evening, the sun that warms my day. And just as sure as I’m sure there’s a heaven, God knows we were meant be, no road is too long as long as you belong, to me.  -Kenny Rogers

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”

― A.A. MilneWinnie-the-Pooh

I can’t wait to tell you how we met.  I’ll save that for another blog.  But before I do that, I want to begin sharing my story from as early as I can remember.  This will likely take me to some places and emotions that I have not visited ever or in a very long time.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment and feel free to click share so that other can read and be helped.  There are THOUSANDS of couples in the U.S. alone that are in the exact situation as we are.



Posted by on July 19, 2012 in Journey to Authenticity


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28 responses to “Un-Anniversary Celebration

  1. Jesse Sorensen

    July 19, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    Is blog 4 entry done yet?

  2. Kasey

    July 19, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    Keep on writing- we are here to support you and love you!!!

  3. julorama67

    July 19, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    I just know God us going to use this journey you & Christa are on to help others who have gone through and are going through this.

  4. Judi Staggers

    July 19, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Chet, I feel your love and passion. Beautifully written. You definitely have to write a book. I Love You Both ❤

  5. Krissy

    July 19, 2012 at 9:01 PM

    Thanks for sharing. What a beautiful connection you both have to each other! Hugs! Love ya!

  6. Crystal

    July 19, 2012 at 9:15 PM

    I sat there 14 years ago at your wedding and never in my life did I cry like I did, at a wedding, when you sang that beautiful song to her. I understand what its like to lose a spouse, but remain committed in friendship. I know my ‘former’ husband is there til death do us part too. You can say his love is one without conditions. Its a glorious day when two people that have shared so many years together can go on without having an enemy. Christa – your grace is a true representation of your character.

  7. Alice Leonard

    July 20, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    Chet…… I don’t even know you, but I can keep silent no longer……
    –Quote: that by admitting truth to her and releasing her from the union to pursue passion, I have done everything I have promised. I have put her needs above mine. I have put her first. That my friends is what marriage is all about–
    Where do you get this?? You have no authority whatsoever in -releasing- her!!!
    Mat_19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. —-Only God can do/has the authority to do this!!!!!

    The whole story: The Message Bible….
    Mat 19:3 One day the Pharisees were badgering him: “Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”
    Mat 19:4 He answered, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female?
    Mat 19:5 And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh – no longer two bodies but one.
    Mat 19:6 Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.”
    Mat 19:7 They shot back in rebuttal, “If that’s so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?”
    Mat 19:8 Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan.
    Mat 19:9 I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.”

    –Quote: I have loved, honored, cherished, respected and all those other things……..
    I cannot see that placing this ‘story’ here for the whole wide world to see forever is honoring, cherishing, and respecting your wife!!! It is degrading, belittling, embarrassing, shaming, and humiliating her!! That is not love for her…. quit trying to fool everyone and yourself!!!! I certainly do not know where you are getting your ideas, but according to the word of God –the God you say you believe, fear, and serve— they are not from Him!!!

    I’m sorry if you are offended at this, but someone needs to shake you up a little bit and tell you like it is and what you are doing to yourself and to your family!!! I have a mandate from God to warn you if I see danger ahead of you…..
    Eze 3:17 “Son of man, I’ve made you a watchman for the family ….. Whenever you hear me say something, warn them for me.
    Eze 3:18 If I say to the wicked, ‘You are going to die,’ and you don’t sound the alarm warning them that it’s a matter of life or death, they will die and it will be your fault. I’ll hold you responsible.
    Eze 3:19 But if you warn the wicked and they keep right on sinning anyway, they’ll most certainly die for their sin, but you won’t die. You’ll have saved your life.
    Eze 3:20 “And if the righteous turn back from living righteously and take up with evil when I step in and put them in a hard place, they’ll die. If you haven’t warned them, they’ll die because of their sins, and none of the right things they’ve done will count for anything – and I’ll hold you responsible.
    Eze 3:21 But if you warn these righteous people not to sin and they listen to you, they’ll live because they took the warning – and again, you’ll have saved your life.”

    I am not judging you or anyone else, but when you look at/preach the word of God it surely seems that God dealt very severly with these kinds of actions and those living in sin……read about Sodom and Gomorrah in Gen. 18 & 19 ….. Doesn’t sound like he approved of this kind of living!!!!!
    Gen 19:24 Then God rained brimstone and fire down on Sodom and Gomorrah – a river of lava from God out of the sky! –
    Gen 19:25 and destroyed these cities and the entire plain and everyone who lived in the cities and everything that grew from the ground.
    Gen 19:26 But Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
    …..but He did make a way of escape for those who lived for and obeyed Him, just as He does for all mankind today….He makes a way of escape if they repent and live His way………
    Gen 19:17 When they had them outside, Lot was told, “Now run for your life! Don’t look back! Don’t stop anywhere on the plain – run for the hills or you’ll be swept away.”
    Gen 19:22 But hurry up. Run for it! I can’t do anything until you get there.

    Again sorry this is so long… And if I offended you, so be it…….but I must tell you the truth…….
    In Christian love…….. Alice

  8. Blaine

    July 20, 2012 at 5:46 AM

    Love that A.A. Milne quote.

  9. Why Am I Gay?

    July 20, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    Alice. You unfortunately are one of the very reasons that the upcoming generation despises Christianity and the church in general. You wish to take the word literally when it is convenient for you to do so.
    Remember I have a degree in theology. I’m a bit more educated than you even thou I am not your age.
    Sodom and Gomorrah was about men Raping other Men and women as well. Not about consenting adults. Do some homework.
    I am living no such lifestyle. I am not in any relationship. If an alcoholic doesnt drink is he living a sinful lifestyle? If a gay person is single and celibate what is it to you?
    I am deeply offended. You are judgemental. This is my story not yours. If you don’t like my story then dont read it. Your words should be used to heal and not hurt.
    As a Christian I am ashamed at your insinuations. Where is the love, mercy and Grace that you are ao quick to discover when you need it? Yet you don’t want other to have it? Shame on you.
    And yes… I could have simply not allowed your rant to be posted but I wanted to show my readers how cruel the gay community has been treated in the church. This should never be the case.

  10. Why Am I Gay?

    July 20, 2012 at 8:25 AM

    And in true literal translation, you should not cut your hair nor should you speak in the church. I am part of the church.

  11. Bridget

    July 20, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    Love reading your blog – thanks for sharing – your emotions are heart touching – and just when I think I’m going to cry with you – you say something that makes me LOL!

  12. Why Am I Gay?

    July 20, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    You self admitted-that you don’t know me. You are correct. You don’t know me, my shame, my guilt, my hurt, my depression, my sadness, or my lifestyle. Would you walk up to a total stranger and spew such disrespect? And please stop suggesting that my wife leave our home with our kids. Your are divisive and I could send you a multitude of scriptures on that my friend. So in true Christianity, I forgive you. Your intent was to make your point and be heard. Your delivery stunk. But Gods best teaching moments are in our failures as humans. Your humanity stuck its head up where your Christianity should have taken over. You are forgiven.

  13. Travis Clark

    July 20, 2012 at 4:59 PM


    Though I may be one of the few people you would care to hear from, I feel too strongly after reading through your blogs that I should post.

    I want to commend you on your honesty. I can’t imagine how difficult that was and still is as you continue to process through all of this. I won’t pretend to understand (that drives me nuts when people try to do that) what you’re feeling or the weight of this. But what I can say is that I’m cheering you on. I want to see you win and I think you’re taking huge steps in that direction.

    It is incredibly sad that many churches seems to be the most unsafe place to dialogue or open up about such things. The Church should be the safest place to confess and receive healing in our areas of struggle. I am personally burdened to see the church begin to engage in healthy conversation with the homosexual community. It’s okay to hold the truth of God’s Word at an uncompromising level (as we should) but we must hold grace at the equal level for if it wasn’t for His grace I, along with everyone else, would be royally screwed. My desire is to lead a church that can be a safe place for broken people to find a perfect Savior. I will strive to be a new voice in the Church as I’m moving to San Francisco next month to launch a church like this there in the City.

    There are no good people or bad people. There are simply broken people. No sin or struggle makes any person more or less broken. No one is more or less in need of grace. Unfortunately many churches make their number one goal to make a homosexual straight rather than to see a homosexual engage in a relationship with Jesus. Bottom line: Christians are really good about missing the point!

    Sorry for the tangent…I’m pretty passionate about this.

    Chet, I guess what I want you to know is that I want to see God’s best for your life. And I believe you want that as well. I am praying for you and just want to encourage you. Be brave. Remember that when something is too big for you it is just the right size for God.

    I believe that God is not only setting the stage to show up but also to show off in your life. It will be exciting to see it all unfold.

    Travis Clark

  14. CB

    July 20, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    I love a good literal interpretation of scripture (name removed), so lets go…shall we? 2 relationships in the Bible…

    Ruth and Naomi

    Ruth 1:16-17 and 2:10-11 describe their close friendship Perhaps the best known passage from this book is Ruth 1:16-17:

    “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” (NIV)

    Ruth 1:14, referring to the relationship between Ruth and Naomi, mentions that “Ruth clave onto her.” (KJV) The Hebrew word translated here as “clave” is identical to that used in the description of a heterosexual marriage in Genesis 2:24:

    “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (KJV)

    David and Jonathan

    1 Samuel 18:1
    “…Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself.” (NIV)

    “…the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (KJV)

    Most translations use the term “soul” rather than “spirit” to describe the bond. They speak of an “immediate bond of love”, their souls being “in unison,” their souls being “knit” etc. Genesis 2:7, as written in the original Hebrew, describes how God blew the spirit into the body of Adam that God had formed from earth, so that Adam became a living soul. This means that “soul”, in the ancient Israelite times, represents a combination of body and spirit. Thus the two men appear to have loved each other both physically and emotionally.

    1 Samuel 18:2
    “From that day, Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house.” (NIV)

    David left his parent’s home and moved to Saul’s where he would be with Jonathan. Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

    1 Samuel 18:3-4
    “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.” (NIV)

    Since people in those days did not wear underwear, Jonathan stripped himself naked in front of David. That would be considered extremely unusual behavior (then and now) unless their relationship was sexual in nature.

    1 Samuel 18:20-21
    “Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. ‘I will give her to him’, he thought, ‘so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him’. Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law” (NIV)

    In the King James Version, the end of Verse 21 reads:

    “Thou shalt this day be my son-in-law, in the one of the twain.” (KJV)

    Saul’s belief was that David would be so distracted by a wife that he would not be an effective fighter and would be killed by the Philistines. He offered first his daughter Merab, but that was rejected, presumably by her. Then he offered Michal. There is an interesting phrase used at the end of verse 21. In both the NIV and KJV, it would seem that David’s first opportunity to be a son-in-law was with the older daughter Merab, and his second was with the younger daughter Michal. The KJV preserves the original text in its clearest form; it implies that David would become Saul’s son-in-law through “one of the twain.” “Twain” means “two”, so the verse seems to refer to one of Saul’s two daughters. Unfortunately, this is a mistranslation. The underlined phrase “the one of” does not exist in the Hebrew original. The words are shown in italics in the King James Version; this is an admission by the translators that they made the words up. Thus, if the KJV translators had been truly honest, they would have written:

    “Thou shalt this day be my son-in-law, in the twain.”

    In modern English, this might be written: “Today, you are son-in-law with two of my children” That would refer to both his son Jonathan and his daughter Michal. The Hebrew original would appear to recognize David and Jonathan’s homosexual relationship as equivalent to David and Michal’s heterosexual marriage. Saul may have approved or disapproved of the same-sex relationship; but at least he appears to have recognized it. The KJV highlight their re-writing of the Hebrew original by placing the three words in italics; the NIV translation is clearly deceptive.

    1 Samuel 20:41
    “After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with is face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together – but David wept the most.” (NIV)

    Other translations have a different ending to the verse:
    “…and they kissed one another and wept with one another, until David exceeded.” (KJV)

    “…and they kissed one another and wept with one another until David got control of himself.” (Amplified Bible)

    “They kissed each other and wept together until David got control of himself.” (Modern Language)

    “They kissed each other and wept aloud together.” (New American Bible)

    “Then David and Jonathan kissed each other. They cried together, but David cried the most.” (New Century Version)

    “Then they kissed one another and shed tears together, until David’s grief was even greater than Jonathan’s.” (Revised English Bible)

    “…and they kissed one another and wept with one another until David recovered himself.” (Revised Standard Version)

    2 Samuel 1:26
    “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.”

    Yes, this is why I no longer step through the doors of a church because of people like you who take your bits and pieces and obviously stepped off a deep end a long time ago.

  15. Jeff

    July 20, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    Oh (name removed), you make me so very sad. You say you are not judging but that that is exactly what you are doing. Not only are you judging but you are doing so not knowing the whole story. Never the less, you are entitled to your own thoughts and beliefs. You are NOT, however, entitled to belittle or put down others with that nonsense. Especially not in the name of God.

    And if that is “christian love”, I think we would all appreciate you refraining from such “loving” comments in the future.

    In agnostic acceptance…. Jeff

  16. Why Am I Gay?

    July 20, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    Thank you Travis. I would be happy to dialog with you

  17. Why Am I Gay?

    July 20, 2012 at 6:27 PM

    Thanks CB

  18. Mary Jo

    July 20, 2012 at 9:14 PM

    This makes me sad, Chet. I love ya but cannot agree with you. I also have a Bible degree from the same college. I will not wound you with words, but I cannot agree with these actions. I pray God’s best for your family. I pray for your former wife, whom you seem to love a great deal. I pray for your children, and for you. I pray not as one who judges, but as one who cares. You pray for me too, okay? For now I’ll sing the Coke song, and agree to disagree.

  19. Why Am I Gay?

    July 20, 2012 at 9:40 PM

    Mary Jo,

    I don’t expect you to agree. But the day will come when you will be faced with a difficult situation that will conflict with the legalism that was pumped into us from birth. But for now, I want to sing the coke song too. Bless ya.

  20. Kris

    July 21, 2012 at 8:05 AM

    Good grief….ONLY GOD knows what is in our hearts and what our motivations are because he made us! Human opinions based on scripture are easily “tweaked” to fit what ever puzzle we are trying to solve. Men and women are NOT to judge us, only God can do this in the end. Mind your words folks and pull the fork out of your own eye!

  21. Mary Jo

    July 21, 2012 at 1:42 PM

    Chet, I can’t just leave that, only because you have no idea the difficult situations that I have faced. My dad died of cancer in 1999 during the time I was moving from White Plains, NY to a small town in Canada where my husband would be lead pastor. In early August of 2001 my son contracted whooping cough at 5 weeks old and was hospitalized for a month at McMaster’s University Hospital in Hamilton, ON. Whooping cough is a disease that could be fatal or could lead to brain damage in newborns, but praise God my son is fine! In 2003 my mom died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. Her death was during the time I was moving from the small town of Sharbot Lake to Oshawa, Ontario where my husband would again be lead pastor. At Mom’s burial in Cincinnati I got up from the place where I was comforting my mom’s sister and I immediately began to feel the effects of a sickness. I would struggle with that sickness and years later be diagnosed with a title for the sickness and even later Jesus would heal me of that sickness. What else would you wish upon me? Not all has been rosie…but I put my trust in God. I put my trust in the Jesus my mom introduced me to! He was faithful to her, He has been faithful to me! Love and prayers.

  22. Julie P Hahn

    July 24, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    I’m so enjoying your story…..

  23. Why Am I Gay?

    July 24, 2012 at 11:57 PM

    No doubt about it. He is faithful.

  24. Why Am I Gay?

    July 24, 2012 at 11:58 PM

    Thanks Julie…
    I’m really enjoying telling it. I’m sure at some point it will get tough to re-visit old wounds but if this helps no one…it sure is helping me. Love you TONS!

  25. Why Am I Gay?

    July 24, 2012 at 11:59 PM

    A FORK. Ouch. 🙂

  26. Carrie Fair

    July 26, 2012 at 12:48 PM

    I am grateful to you as a mentor, not just in career but in life. You and Christa are wonderful people and the world is a better place because of you. Surround yourself with love, and know that I am only one of many that admire and love you. I am proud of you just as you should be of yourself.

  27. Why Am I Gay?

    July 26, 2012 at 1:06 PM

    Carrie. You too have inspired me. You have taught me more than you will ever know.

  28. Raki

    January 8, 2017 at 9:51 PM

    I can’t stop crying while reading this part. Even now😭😭😭😂😂😂😂! It’s like a deja-vu on my side. Me and my daughter’s dad, ex-husband, decided to end our almost 11 years of marriage (2 days before our 11th yr wedding anniversary) while we still have love and respect to each other. Our daughter understands it why do we need to to it. She even tell our family and friends that we are divorcing and we are friends! It was very hard for her too when it actually happened but after that we are all happy and she was ok with it. I admire you and Christa and your girls for accepting and understanding their loving parents decisions in life. Kudos to all of you! You inspire other people for sure just like you inspire me. 😊😊😊! Divorced doesn’t need to be ugly and bad. Its up to you how you and your soon to be ex handle it. Our divorced was very amicable and the paralegal even said were the friendliest client she ever had. Of course after all the 😭 and sobbing when we talked about doing it. Will tell you more when we have a chance to talk and have lunch! For now, I should go back to reading the beautifUl story of your life!😊 Thank you for sharing it.

    ——-I asked her to sit next to me so that I could give her a hug and thank her for such enduring love, forgiveness, commitment and just plain ol’ friendship. Within moments of our embrace… you guessed it. Sobbing fit number three just spontaneously happened. This was much worse than the two earlier in the day. I was having trouble breathing. We held each other as I profusely professed my love and apologies to her. She rubbed my back and instructed me to stop beating myself up and to please take a breath… LOL. I guess she didn’t want a dead husband on her hands——-


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